What they don’t tell you when you buy acreage property…

For over ten years, I rode my trusty metal steed around my sprawling kingdom. I was part of a ragtag band of weekend warriors, braving the elements to cut, hack, and tame the wild. The symphony of buzzing motorized machines was the soundtrack of our neighborhood. But here’s the kicker: no one tells you this when you’re seduced by the sight of pristine rolling lawns. You’re too busy picturing your kids playing on the swing set or zooming around on their bikes, blissfully unaware of the impending chaos.

For a decade, we owned our slice of paradise during a time when life was slower, and a quiet night in was the ultimate luxury. But as the kids grew and life’s phases shifted, the thought of spending hours meditating on my iron horse started to lose its charm. Don’t get me wrong, those years when my daughter was three until she was practically never home due to after-school activities and sports were the perfect time to be on acreage. It was the golden era of land commitment. And let me tell you, “commitment” is the name of the game.

For example, you don’t just buy a dozen plants for $100; you’re more likely to drop a few grand on a truckload and still need more. Everything is on steroids because of the sheer size and time it takes to conquer a project. If you’re thinking of buying acreage, here are a few nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up:

1. If the property doesn’t come with lawn gear, prepare to splash out about 10K to get set up.

2. If the property relies on tank water, you’re in for a wild ride. Sure, water falls from the sky and is FREE, but stick around for a decade, and you’ll experience a drought that makes it very expensive.

3. Sewer systems need to be pumped out every 1-3 years, depending on how many bodies are in the house.

4. The drive… Ah, the drive. You move to the countryside for peace and quiet, but that means you’re far from town. If Uber Eats is your lifeline, you’ll need to embrace home-cooked meals and the time it takes to shop, cook, and organize. The same goes for any activity; you’ll spend more time in the car than you ever imagined.

These are just a few things to keep in mind. Sure, there are sacrifices, but the advantages make it all worthwhile.
It’s an awesome adventure, if you’re up for the challenge!